A Personal Reflection of Reconnecting to Self through a Meditation Practice
Earlier this year I was struggling.
Struggling with the chronic pain from my medication.
Struggling with the intense hot flushes that would last over 30 minutes.
Struggling with my mental health.
I went to see my oncologist and he saw that I was struggling and offered me antidepressants. He said that what I was going through was like torture – the ongoing, chronic pain, the constant tiredness, and the hot flushes.
He said the antidepressants would alleviate my hot flushes and help me to feel emotionally better.
I walked out with the script but didn’t fill it… it was something for me to consider.
I then went to my GP for another health challenge… I was going to the bathroom at least 5 times every night. I wasn’t sleeping well. I knew that this would be contributing to my mental health challenges as lack of sleep has always been a trigger for me.
My oncologist had sent my GP a letter explaining my mental health state and so my GP also recommended antidepressants.
Again, I took the script but did nothing with it. I just considered it.
I went to see my kinesiologist and she told me I was disconnected from myself. That I needed to turn inwards and reconnect with myself in whatever way was right for me.
After all these appointments I seriously pondered taking the antidepressants. I was told they were a low dosage and coming off them would be easy and I began to think I should give it a try.
At this same time, I also started meditating again. During this time, I TRIED really hard to connect with myself. I tried, and I tried, and I tried.
I had a client mention to me that they went on antidepressants for non-mental health reasons (antidepressants apparently have side effects that can help with other issues) and they said they had never felt better.
I considered it again.
I then completed my Hypnotherapy training and had a bit more time for me. I invested in personal development courses, just for me, that involved a lot of meditation.
I started regularly meditating again. Not to specifically connect to myself… rather just to relax, just to be, just to learn new skills and just to connect in a general sense.
During this time something amazing happened.
When I let go of TRYING to connect and just WAS, I started to feel better. It only took a week or so before I recognised, I was feeling better. I was feeling happier. I was feeling more connected.
The chronic pain would come and go.
The hot flushes would come and go.
I was still getting up to go to the bathroom but even that seemed to reduce.
I regained my ability to navigate through the challenges I was going through.
And now, after only a few weeks I feel truly connected and back to living and embracing life.
My writing is flowing.
My health is flowing.
My life is flowing.
There are still some things that trigger me, but I know that just by the process of meditating, there is a power that comes with it. A quiet, yet intense change that washes over me and allows me to reconnect to what is important…
The connection to life.
10 years ago, I hit the lowest point in my life, and I now recognise when I start to slip and I’m able do something about it. I know that I can ask for help from my kinesiologist and my spirit guides through meditation.
So today, if you are reading this and resonating with the feelings of disconnectedness, please consider investing some time in yourself. This could include reaching out for a session, or starting a regular meditation practice that works for you.
You can listen to my latest meditations for free on YouTube by clicking on the following links:
And while you are there, feel free to follow my channel and listen to the other meditations and videos there.
And remember, Happiness Starts with a Smile, and Empowerment Starts with a Choice!