Creating Healing Habits

Our life is made up of all the things we do on a daily basis.  Some things we consciously choose to do, while other things are done unconsciously.  All of these things add up to the life you have right now… whether it’s the job you are in, the friends you have, or how happy and healthy you feel.

Over time a pattern emerges and we begin to question ourselves –

• Why do I feel this way all the time?
• Why do things always turn out this way?
• Why can’t I change my life?

This continual struggle in trying to understand why we can’t change our life, even though we feel we are trying hard to make changes can be disheartening and defeating.  We think we are trying to change things, yet things just don’t change.

The challenge is, we are all habitual creatures.  We create routines in life which allow us to play out the day without much thought.

For example, we wake up the same time each day, have a shower, drink coffee, check social media, meditate, exercise, or whatever it is that we do every morning.  We don’t have to think about it, we just do it on autopilot.

Now it’s important to say here that routines or habits aren’t a bad thing.  They allow our brain to have a rest as we go along on this autopilot state, and they also make us feel safe.  We know what we need to do next, and we know the outcome… we have a shower and then we feel clean, or we eat breakfast and then we feel satisfied.

And even if we are unaware consciously of the outcome, like checking social media and feeling unsettled, we continue down the same path because it’s what’s known, what we are used to.  We tell ourselves; we need to do this thing because we can’t do without it.

So, we can see that some habits are ok, while others are not and these are the ones we need to change, if we want our life to change – the habits that harm us in some way, that are destructive to our mental, emotional and physical wellbeing.  I’m talking about the routine or habit of having 10 cups of coffee every day while staying up all night stressing about everything that needs to be done, or always checking social media before bed which then puts us in a state of unease so we can’t sleep.  What about the habit of needing to stay up late every night, then struggling to get up in the morning?  Or the habit of getting struck in the stress cycle which impacts our us on all levels?  Yes, even stress, anxiety and depressive thoughts can become habits over time.

 

How do we create Habits?

 A habit is something we continue over time.  Everything we do, how we act and what we think, creates neural pathways in our brain. As we continue to repeat the habits, these neural pathways become stronger, more ingrained and more influential on our behaviour.  They become so automatic that we don’t even know we are doing them, or we feel we can’t change them.

Think about a smoker that struggles to give up the cigarettes. If you are a smoker, you know what I mean, if you aren’t, or never have been (like me), you may have heard from smokers just how hard it is to give up.

These habits become such an influential part of our life that we are not aware of the power these habits hold over us and our growth.  And that’s exactly why they matter–– they’re small, sometimes unnoticeable, and always meaningful.

 

So how do we change these habits? 

How can we create more healthy habits, actions and thinking patterns in our lives?

The first thing is to recognise that we all have habits.  Cool? Ok, let’s move on.

Next, we need to realise that everything we do in life can be changed.  Yes EVERYTHING!

We CAN change the way we think and process the world.

We CAN change the things we choose to eat and drink.

We CAN change the amount of movement and exercise we get in the day.

We CAN change anything about our lives… full stop, no buts, maybes or ifs!

So, let’s start with the obvious habits. The things we know we do.

Make a list

Make a list of all your habits… no judgement here, just write them down.

Here are a few questions to get you going:

What time do I wake up?

What is my morning routine like?

What do I do every day?

 Then start to examine these routines / habits.  Which ones are working for you?  For example, getting up at 6am every morning might be exactly what you need, so that habit is fine. Whereas going to bed at midnight every night and waking up exhausted may not be what you need.

Evaluate the habits as either

• Life affirming – Things that you know are good for you.
• Neutral or no effect – Things that are not really good or bad for you, they are just things you do.
• Unsure – Things you are not sure of. You don’t know how they impact your life, but you know they do.
• Life negating – Things that you know are not good for you or are hurting you in some way.

 

The secrets to changing your habits.

Now let’s get moving on changing these habits with these tips.

1. Pick one or two you would like to change. It’s best to start with something that is not too difficult. We want to have a positive start to this practice.
2. Think about what you would like to replace this habit with. You see, just stopping a habit can be difficult, if not impossible for some, but replacing it with something more positive can help change the habit.
3. Believe you can change your habits. By having a belief before you begin you are setting yourself up for success.  Creating habits that you don’t believe you can change will be more difficult and possibly set you up for failure.
4. Smile more as you think about the new habit. By smiling you increase the happy hormone, Dopamine.  And when you have more dopamine, you are happier.  When you are happier, you are more likely to follow through on creating healthy habits.
5. Increase Your Willpower. Your willpower is finite but there are things you can do to create more willpower such as doing things you have never done before.  A great example of this is brushing your teeth with your non dominant hand.
6. The 20 Second Rule. Studies have shown that when something is within 20 seconds of your reach you are more likely to do it. So, move things within 20 seconds reach if you wish to create a healthy habit or move it more than 20 seconds away if you wish to stop an unhealthy habit.  As an example, if you wish to exercise every morning, place your sneakers and gym gear next to the bed so they are within reach when you wake.  If you want to eat healthier, don’t buy unhealthy foods or place them somewhere that takes an effort to get if you still want “treats” in your home.
7. Accountability partner. Find someone that can support you through this new habit. When we have someone that can encourage us and someone we can report to, we are more likely to complete the task.
8. If it’s appropriate, make an announcement to those around you. When you share what you wish to change with your family and friends you are more likely to follow through on your new habits as well as possibly gain a cheer quad to encourage you.
9. Finally, celebrate your wins. Acknowledge when you have successfully gone through one day, then one week and then one month.  By celebrating along the way, you encourage yourself to keep going.

 

So there you have it.  My favourite tips to help you change your habits in life so that you can literally change your life.  And if you get stuck, and just can’t change your habit, there may be a sabotage in your thinking.  In this case, you may need some help clearing the sabotages.  Please reach out for a session, where together we can help identify the sabotaging thoughts and clear them.

I’ve also created a new meditation that may help you change those habits.  You can find it on Insight Timer here.

And remember, Happiness Starts with a Smile, and Empowered Starts with a Choice… what choice will you make today?